“hold off, Is it a Date?” Podcast Episode 102: The Chart | Autostraddle

This week on “Wait, Is it a night out together?” we’re joined by Autostraddle Chief Executive Officer and

L Keyword

specialist
Riese Bernard
to discuss: The Chart. You got that right! This event is all about lesbian interconnectivity — connecting with friends’ exes, pals setting up with these exes, while the tradition produced by all those things crisis.

Come for gossip, remain when it comes to psychological processing. And before that enjoy a game title that tests Christina’s boundaries: Would U-Haul? (Spoiler alert: she usually wouldn’t normally.)

Thanks for the great feedback after our premier! If you haven’t but start thinking about giving us a rating or test!

SHOW RECORDS

+ 5 years ago Riese put together an
Old Hollywood data
that is the intersection of all my personal passions.

+ Here Is
the article
We reference where I mention setting up with my roommates.

+ My personal crush in the week Mj Rodriguez revealed a songs video clip on her behalf track
“one thing to Say”
!

+ As someone who has just seen a handful of symptoms of

The Nanny

this montage
of Christina’s crush for the week C.C. Babcock had been surprising for me if it turned out she and Niles aren’t both homosexual. (Christina informs me they generally nevertheless tend to be.)

---

Drew:

I would personally be really fine along with it current. I would never ever add another person without their own permission. Nevertheless concept of everytime somebody was like, “Confirm that you are attached to me personally,” I’d wind up as, “Yeah, this is the existence I resided. I don’t care about.” Is the fact that weird? Usually an issue?

Christina:

No, as if I found myselfn’t, i’d feel poor not-being. I might end up like, “hold off, I’m not sleeping?”

Theme track plays

Drew:

Hi, I’m Drew.

Christina:

Hi, I Am Christina.

Drew:

And thanks for visiting

Hold Off, Is It A Romantic Date?

Christina:


Hold Off, Is This A Date?

is actually an Autostraddle podcast asking the top concerns. To start with, would it be a date? Exactly what are dates? That dates? Do we like dates? They are the form of concerns that individuals address on this subject right here incredibly expert and lovely podcast.

Drew:

I am Drew Gregory. I am an author at Autostraddle and a filmmaker and, famously, a trans lesbian.

Christina:

I’m called Christina Tucker. I’m in addition a writer at Autostraddle. I am a loud queer on the net. I am getting better at explaining me as an author and, famously, a lesbian. Which is united states. That’s whom we are.

Drew:

Yeah. And so our major topic this week is The Chart.

Christina:

I simply thought it needed a sting. I don’t know. That thought truly dramatic, but In my opinion it needed it.

Drew:

Yes. No, please, kindly, please. Thank you, thanks a lot. No, no, no. The correct amount of drama.

Christina:

Thanks.

Drew:

Yeah. So we’re speaing frankly about lesbian interconnectivity.

Christina:

I like that expression given that it sounds like you should restart the lesbians. It sounds such as the connection to the internet is not working.

Drew:

Yes. it is very advanced level, very futuristic, but in addition has existed since there has been lesbians, In my opinion.

Christina:

Yeah. I believe scholars will say once they found the initial lesbian fossils, they discovered an information alongside ones carved to the sand. And I also believe’s what that movie is all about, correct? It’s about the information? That flick with Kate Winslet together with mud fossils?

Drew:


Ammonite?

Christina:

Yeah, that is what it is more about.

Drew:

If only

Ammonite

was about cavern women. I’d watch that lesbian motion picture.

Christina:

Really, when I have not viewed it, I’m going to bravely say that it actually was. Cool.

Drew:

Yeah. Because it’s like we’ve got plenty lesbian duration pieces, but we’ve never eliminated straight back that much. And I also think it’s time we carry out.

Christina:

Let us simply hold having it furthermore back in time.

Drew:

Before we obtain to our primary subject, you’re still learning united states. And I thought that it would be fun to relax and play a casino game in which you dudes could actually familiarize yourself with Christina. So the icebreaker with this few days is actually only a little online game that we name “Would U-Haul.”

Christina:

I will be, once again, therefore pressured about it. This could you need to be how I come to the game. This could be my game mindset, a tiny bit high key, just a little stressed. Which is fine. We are all discovering.

Drew:

In my opinion that is great. I believe that can allow you to be more susceptible, maybe.

Christina:

Among my personal favorite feelings.

Drew:

Only a terror, just an intense horror. So that the manner in which “Would U-Haul” works is actually i will describe a scenario. Let us refer to it as Christina fan fiction. And I also’m browsing pause after every little area become like, “Okay, Christina, I’m sure which you have never ever resided with a partner, don’t want to live with someone. But under these circumstances, would U-Haul?”

Christina:

And that I will possibly say yes or we’ll say, “i am all set.”

Drew:

Unless you — really, we will see here. But i am excited. I believe i have perhaps cracked the code.

Christina:

You have cracked the code? I’m thrilled.

Drew:

Let us find out how very long this takes. If in case you won’t ever carry out, I think you victory? I’m not sure just how you will find champions right here.

Christina:

I don’t know that we now have champions in the online game of U-Hauling.

Drew:

Well, I’m not sure in the event that you’ll trust that next. And so I’m going to get heading.

Christina:

Fair adequate.

Drew:

Okay. Therefore, Christina.

Christina:

Drew.

Drew:

You’re at your pal’s marriage. Despite the large number of romcoms you have taken in, you did maybe not check-out this wedding considering you’d fulfill anyone because, well, this isn’t a romcom. Here is the genuine and regular longevity of Christina Grace Tucker. You adopt your assigned chair consequently they are glancing at your cellphone as soon as you understand a lady at your dining table is looking at you. She introduces herself as your buddy’s previous babysitter. She’s remained a buddy of this family members, but she doesn’t truly know anyone there. She appears to be mid-forties and has now a striking angular face. You start chatting. She proposes to produce a glass or two. And when she rises, you understand she is six legs large, 6′ 3″ in pumps. So you know what? I’m just planning hold on there and be want, at this time, would U-Haul?

Christina:

I’m intrigued. I am captivated because i would get put during this wedding ceremony. But thus far I’m not U-Hauling anywhere.

Drew:

Cool. That is totally reasonable. Totally fair. Okay. Which means you spend the entire marriage learning each other. There’s just an immediate spark and instant chemistry. And yes, you are doing attach in addition to intercourse is remarkable.

Christina:

Tight.

Drew:

Therefore this marriage was in Northern California. And that means you both increase the remains for three days to bang and explore and eat at restaurants and shag. While supply to split the price of the today mutual place, but she laughs you off and is also love, “demonstrably perhaps not, honey.” Therefore, the next three days are miraculous. You feel the wall space tumbling down. You’re slipping quicker than you ever before have actually. Would U-Haul?

Christina:

Very simply for quality’s benefit, i am having a hard time picturing a world in which I got three surprise days away from work to go out with a person I do maybe not know. That looks bonkers. However if used to do, great for myself. But i am not U-Hauling during this period. It’s going to be a no.

Drew:

Great. Okay. That’s great. You just came across. I get it. I have it. Okay.

Christina:

Thank you so much plenty.

Drew:

So she returns to nyc while come back to Philadelphia.

Christina:

That is where We stay.

Drew:

And you are texting everyday. This is where you live and it’s also in which this girl lives. And you’re texting continuously therefore see one another multiple times monthly. She actually is extremely active with her job, but she’s quick to purchase you a train violation so you’re able to arrive see this lady and stay at the woman breathtaking brownstone in Fort Greene. Then six months go. And another evening when you’re over to supper, she asks one to relocate together. Would U-Haul?

Christina:

And move to Ny? Really don’t really like New York. No, I’m not transferring in the 6 months tag. I’m not carrying out that, no.

Drew:

Okay, okay. Completely, entirely, entirely. Wow. Okay. And that means you hold internet dating cross country. She realizes that needed some time and she actually is prepared to wait for you. Even more several months move. Its now already been over annually. Your property owner informs you they are offering your place to a developer who’s putting in condos, so that you are unable to restore it. You ought to get a hold of an innovative new location. Your own now sweetheart informs you that no stress, but the woman provide nevertheless appears. Would U-Haul?

Christina:

Okay. Now, i’d U-Haul for two factors.

Drew:

Yay! Okay. Please tell us.

Christina:

Mainly, in a world in which my personal landlord sold my house in order to develop it, my personal landlord is currently my best friend, so appears like some thing moved completely wrong inside our friendship. And I may want to simply keep Philadelphia in any event. And when I have to move in using my girl over here, that looks okay. That’s great. Completely okay. But yeah, i believe i may need an external power like a mean landlord.

Drew:

Which is therefore — ok. Used to do think you’d need to require property to get here, and so I’m pleased I knew that.

Christina:

Yeah. Which is exactly what has to happen to me first.

Drew:

Really, i am happy to know what it’s going to take. So theoretically, if you weren’t knocked away, how much longer?

link: https://gaydatingnearme.com/gay-sex/

Christina:

Frankly, which could went on for a long time. Philly and ny commonly also that far from each other. I obtained space over right here. We’re bouncing forward and backward. We are having happy times. I could have permit that roll for a long time until i suppose Shoshana becomes the worst person i understand.

Drew:

I did not realize Shoshana had your own home. Really, there you choose to go.

Christina:

There we go. Wow, that was exciting.

Drew:

Well, many thanks for playing.

Christina:

I’m stressed, to-be obvious.

Drew:

And that I’m glad that i understand… possibly if you’re previously, anytime anyone’s ever dating both you and wishes that move around in, maybe the girlfriend informed Shoshana to offer our home for the sake of your own connection.

Christina:

Honestly the fastest way — someone would simply have to keep in touch with Shoshana and get want, “only kick this lady away.” And then she’d be like, “Yeah, sure. Needless to say.” That could be how it occurred, even though she did not sell the house. Somebody would you should be like, “is it possible to only stop this lady out so she will only get over it and relocate beside me?” And she would state yes. A hundred percent she’d do that. That is what friendship is.

Drew:

I love that.

Christina:

Yeah, which is really gorgeous.

Drew:

Really, I believe like we discovered much about you.

Christina:

Thank You. I’m like We discovered plenty about myself personally, too. Threat of homelessness is truly the thing that keeps me transferring any circumstance, I guess. Wow.

Drew:

Well, which is fantastic.

Christina:

That has been really fascinating. I’m just as happy to go into our major phase because i do believe discussing lesbian connection with this visitor, using this unique guest, In my opinion it’s going to be remarkable, Drew. Exactly how could you be feeling?

Drew:

I’m thus thrilled. This really is an expert. By that, after all an

L Word

expert, but additionally some a professional within the subject available.

Christina:

I think two things could be real, my good friend. I think a few things is genuine without a doubt. Will we should introduce the visitor or will we desire the guest to introduce themselves?

Drew:

I would love our visitor introducing herself.

Christina:

Guest.

Drew:

I am going to point out that the guest will be the only Riese Bernard.

Christina:

Guest, communicate.

Riese:

Hi, I’m Riese. And it’s also weird to-be the guest!

Christina:

Yeah, its.

Riese:

I got never to say something. I didn’t also do so. I did state situations. I had to sit here quietly.

Christina:

And you were really courageous. As well as your confronts had been valued.

Riese:

Thanks really.

Christina:

Though this can be clearly an audio average, I want our audience to understand that Riese had been producing some very nice effect faces during “Would U-Haul.”

Riese:

Absolutely numerous ways are heard. Guess what happens after all? That is what i say. I’m the CEO of Autostraddle.com. And that I’m in addition on an undefeated kickball staff. And that’s me personally. I have a puppy named Carol. And that I have dated people.

Christina:

Congrats in the kickball!

Riese:

Thank-you. I am involved in men and women.

Christina:

Great. Enjoying that. Which is fantastic to bring for this, this here dating podcast. That’s really good.

Riese:

Yeah. I think that… Could There Be whatever else?

Drew:

No, In my opinion which is great, Riese.

Christina:

What you may should discuss.

Riese:

I enjoy raspberries, the fresh fruit raspberries, and swimming pools.

Christina:

As opposed to…

Riese:

You know an individual goes like…

Drew:

It really is like when you blow. Yeah.

Christina:

Oh. Those are terrible, thus I simply just evacuated all of them from my personal head.

Riese:

Yeah. And that’s all.

Christina:

Great.

Drew:

Really, I immediately thought of you with this topic.

Christina:

That is true.

Drew:

Because first, obviously, queer females and non-binary people in lesbian society are like, I don’t know, sex with individuals just who their friends experienced sex with since well before

The L Keyword

ended up being actually a set. But i actually do feel

The L Word

solidified a specific social thought of the information with Alice Pieszecki. And so I felt like you would have countless insight into this topic.

Riese:

It’s true. Two of the people, I want to say, of

The L Term

had this real chart ones in addition to their pals these were attracting throughout the wall surface or whatever. And Guinevere Turner, In my opinion, was actually one of those. She chatted to united states about it, that they had built this. Because clearly, everyone else in that writer’s area had fucked other individuals into the author — you are aware, therefore the extended internet of these generation of lesbians in L. A.. And in addition they noticed can these people were like, “Let’s place it in the show.” Several of those take the data. Like, some people just who … like, genuine people are about data as a tale.

Christina:

Which is amazing. That is how you learn you have made it.

Riese:

Isn’t really that adorable?

Christina:

That could be thrilling personally.

Riese:

And when you yourself haven’t observed

The L Term,

to begin with, congrats. Second, it gets the centerpiece of a single your head personality, Alice’s, apartment. She’s every thing over her wall surface. Looked after will be the name of an online site which they started known as ourchart.com that flopped. And concept … and it is within the pilot, i believe. Into the first occurrence, Alice starts making reference to exactly how everybody’s connected, because everyone’s hooked up because of this individual. And that I can link you, as you’re most likely only two degrees away from me. And that ended up being true. Like, despite Dana, who had limited experience because she ended up being a closeted tennis player, they still could link her. And that is actuality because it’s true.

Christina:

That is society. Yeah. That’s what culture seems like.

Riese:

That is society. That’s queer culture immediately. And then everyone helps make their particular charts.

Christina:

Yeah. With the intention that was going to end up being my next concern, was actually have actually either people made a chart? Because Really don’t consider You will find, I am also method of now considering like, the thing that was this just last year seated within my home for easily didn’t generate a chart? Like, the thing that was the purpose of that, really?

Riese:

I do believe i have accomplished it inside my record, in the same manner like … Because i love, I am not sure, organizing details, i assume, as a thought exercise.

Christina:

Yeah, i do believe which is additionally exactly why i’m astonished that You will findn’t done it. I love the concept of categorizing situations.

Riese:

Right. Yeah. Since it is interesting. I don’t know exactly why its so fascinating, but it’s. It is interesting to be like, wow, most of these people, they can be linked. It is untamed.

Drew:

Regarding show, as soon as ourchart.com is conceived, obtained an actual chart that people can also add things. And I also feel like something you joked when it comes to on

To L and Right Back,

nowadays people state continuously is like, if this existed in a proper method, nobody would put their own labels about it, no one would feel safe placing their particular brands on it.

Riese:

Might.

Drew:

I would. I would personally be extremely okay with it existing. I’d never include some other person without their particular permission. However the notion of love, everytime someone had been like, “Confirm that you may be attached to me personally,” I would end up like, “Yeah, this is the life I resided. Really don’t care about.” Would be that strange? Is that an issue?

Christina:

No, since if I becamen’t, i might feel bad not-being … I would wind up as, “Wait, I am not on it? Like, I’m sorry, exactly what?” No, that would in fact deliver myself into lighting moral panic about exactly who i will be as an individual, what I’m doing. Was I interesting? Would folks {like